Dysphoria
by Cheerful Regression
Summary: He'd just wanted to be happy. Which was nearly impossible when the love of his life was married to someone else. ShikaIno, NaruIno. Request by Fiddle Me This One.


Summary: He'd just wanted to be happy. Which was nearly impossible when the love of his life was married to someone else. ShikaIno, NaruIno.

This is a request-fic for **Fiddle Me This One**. They requested a ShikaIno that is a sad one where Ino is married to Naruto and has…

I won't ruin it. The rest is at the end. Here you go; Fiddle Me This One.

Pairings: ShikaIno; NaruIno.

If you don't like this pairing then you'd be something of an idiot if you read this anyway. If you want to flame then I'll go ahead and copy/paste this warning in reply. Please don't be silly.

Warning: Not a happy story.

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**Dysphoria**

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It had been torturous, and it had been just the one time.

Shikamaru walked the familiar path to an amazingly comfortable home that his friend and her husband shared. The yard was fenced in, there was an incredible garden lining the fence, courtesy of the owners, both of whom were exceptional with plants. There were toys beside the porch, a sprinkler meant for children to jump through, and a sand-box to the side of the home. He had timed this visit perfectly and he knew that she was expecting him. He visited everyday at this time, so long as she wasn't away on a mission.

He knocked, even though she had told him a thousand times that he didn't need to, that it was fine for him to just walk in. She had been lounging on the couch, reading, so she answered the door almost immediately. "Hey Shikamaru, how's it going?" she said.

Uzumaki Ino looked amazing. She always did, in his opinion. "Fine," he muttered, slipping off his shoes to head inside. "You?"

"Fine," she said with a sigh. "Naruto's off to Suna, to meet with the Kazekage and-" she paused, "Why am I telling you this? You're his advisor, of course you know."

He shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, I heard about it."

"Why aren't you _there_?" she asked him suspiciously.

Shikamaru had had to work hard to get out of going. "They didn't need me this time around," he said.

"Wow, really?" Ino said, "Naruto's usually going on and on about how useful you are and how great it is to have you helping him."

A quick stab of guilt made his chest hurt. It was getting old. This guilt would have to stop sometime. "He doesn't need any help when it comes to meeting with the Kazekage," Shikamaru said, "Those two are closer than brothers."

"Yeah," Ino said fondly. She laid back down on the couch, but left her book on the floor. Shikamaru took his usual spot on the opposing couch and shut his eyes. He could feel Ino looking over at him. "With this time off I'm surprised that you're not out watching the clouds."

"They all look the same," he muttered.

She sighed and went quiet for a moment. "It's been a long time since Asuma died, you don't have to remain like this."

Shikamaru had to keep from a sardonic laugh. Asuma's death had nothing to do with this. This was something completely different and it was worse. Asuma's death had hurt badly, but this current problem was going to hold him captive until someone _else_ died.

"Bore me," he requested.

Ino gave him a light glare, but then went ahead and launched into the latest news. News, now, mostly consisted of what her family was doing, and the families of those around her. Of their friends. It was the least shallow gossip that there was to offer. He'd gotten into the habit of closing his eyes and just listening to her speak. He could change names here and there to make things better.

"Akemi is over with Chouji and Suzumi," she said, "spending the night. They spoil her rotten, so of course she loves it," Ino's voice was fond at the mention of her five-year-old daughter.

"She gets along well with their girl," Shikamaru said, his eyes still shut, still able to rewrite the meaning of the things that she said.

"True enough," Ino agreed. "And Kei is at the Academy, of course. Then, apparently, he's going to go over to Iruka's afterwards. Iruka's always been Naruto's father figure…"

"And Hotaka is still napping," Shikamaru finished quietly.

There came a cry from down the hallway, as though just the mention of his name was enough to wake him. "There he is," Ino said with a wry smile, getting to her feet and disappearing down the hallway.

Shikamaru kept his eyes closed to steel himself, for the sight. He opened them when he heard Ino re-enter the room. "Here's the little sleepy-head," Ino said affectionately, of the two-year-old laying his head limply on her shoulder.

Shikamaru's heart beat hard. This hurt, every, single, time. To see Ino holding that toddler so lovingly and gently. And to see that little boy lie so comfortably against her.

_Alcohol. The smell of alcohol was overwhelming. Ino grinned at him from where she sat beside the couch. Everyone else had cleared out by that time and he was left cleaning up the party with her. It was their birthday party, always celebrated together since their birthdays were only hours apart. _

_Ino had been giddy all evening. Naruto had been long overdue on a mission to the point of speculation of him lying dead somewhere. They'd been sent word only the day before that he was safe. There'd been an emergency situation that he'd had to help with, but he was safe and would be returning soon. Ino had almost collapsed from relief when they'd gotten the message. Her parents had agreed to watch two-year-old Akemi and five-year-old Kei for the night so that she could celebrate her birthday properly._

"_You are very, very drunk," he observed._

_Ino grinned at him. "I am. You're kinda drunk," she said._

_He was. More than tipsy, but certainly more sober than she was. "Think you're going to pass out soon?" he said, looking around at the trash that was littering his apartment. Of course they'd had the party at _his_ apartment. _

"_Maybe," she said with a goofy smile. _

_He had to look away. He shouldn't have been drunk. He should have known better, he did know better. He needed to get out of this situation, to get away from being alone with Ino. He had to be some sort of masochist to have set up this situation. "Why don't you head home and go to sleep. I'll clean up," he offered._

"_I don't know if I can make it home," she told him with big eyes. "I am very, very drunk," she giggled a bit. _

"_Do…" he hesitated, "Do you need help getting back?"_

"_Let me just lay down for a moment in your bed," she said and began trying to get to her feet. _

_He reluctantly caught her arm and helped her to his bedroom, letting the light from the hallway lead instead of turning on the bedroom light. He had to fully catch her as she almost fell again and he could feel how bad the situation was becoming. "I missed him," she told Shikamaru drunkenly, "I thought… I thought that I was never going to see him again…"_

"_I know," he said and he struggled against the wave of guilt that came from understanding his own messed-up desires about the situation. And now their faces were so close together and then suddenly he was kissing her and it was everything, it was the entirety of his world, and everything that he'd wanted. _

_She was kissing him back, and her hands were in his hair and her gorgeous body was pressed against his and he could _feel_ her, her warmth through her clothing. She was perfection and he was losing his mind as he held her tight. _

_Then they were somehow on the bed and his hands were shaking as he yanked her clothing from her and she stared at him with lust-filled, hazy eyes while her hands worked at his belt. He pressed her into the mattress, his fingers entwined with her hair, kissing her swollen lips before moving to kiss places that she'd never bared to him before. _

_It was unreal. She was beautiful and she was crying out for him. Somehow the name that kept escaping her lips changed by the time he heard it. Even as she cried Naruto's name, he heard his own name, in this passion-filled voice that he'd longed to hear her use. She was so warm, so responsive, and she cried out with every motion. He had her beneath him on his bed. It wasn't real. It was a fantasy. He was replaying a fantasy that he'd dreamt of for years. _

_His control was perfect and she cried out multiple times before she gripped his shoulders with sharp nails and managed to gasp out that they had to stop, that she was faint, that it was more than she could take, and she couldn't take anymore. So he finished deep inside her and she told him that she loved him and he whispered his obsession over and over until she finally passed out._

_He was horrified when he realized what he'd done, what had happened. He'd actually slept with her. Reality came crashing down painfully as he remembered her calling out Naruto's name. How she had told _Naruto_ that she loved him. She hadn't seen him at all. And he loved her too much to let her know that this had happened, it was too important. He cleaned as best he could and redressed her and then took her home as quickly as possible. She woke up when they got there and smiled at him and he convinced her to have a couple more drinks with him and then he left her asleep on her bed without a single parting kiss. _

_There was nothing more about it. Other than the dreams that he had every time he fell asleep. His intimate knowledge now of her body and her passion. Things that he had no right to know about. _

_His heart stopped when he heard that she was pregnant. _

_He tried to calm himself. Ino and Naruto were married. They had two kids already, there was nothing unusual about Ino getting pregnant again. _

_It was made worse when Ino had shrugged with a confused smile. "We thought we were done. This one is our surprise baby, I guess."_

_He made himself sick with all of the thoughts in his head. He could hardly bear to be around his friends and work became almost impossible. Naruto was always so incredibly friendly to him, considered them great friends, knew how much he meant to his wife. Naruto trusted him. The layers of guilt were all-consuming. He felt sick all of the time. _

_Naruto had been working towards the end of the evening when a messenger came in to tell him that Ino was at the hospital in labor. To which Naruto, with a huge grin, had quickly abandoned all of his work and went off in a rush of energetic excitement. Shikamaru watched everything with a numb coldness and then he took the rest of the week off, claiming illness. _

_He didn't go visit even though he knew it was hurting Ino's feelings that he wasn't showing up. He just did his best to forget about everything and did his best to convince himself that it was just another Uzumaki kid, and there was no reason to think any more about it. He needed to get over this, just as he had with the other two, and get back to work. _

_A week into the isolation everything was shattered. His father knocked shortly at the door, and then simply broke the lock in order to see his son. Shikamaru stood slowly and heavily and looked at him. Shikaku stared for a moment and then struck him hard on the face. "You did," he said, in a hard voice, "You actually did."_

"_Did what…" Shikamaru asked, standing upright again. _

"_Don't give me that," Shikaku said in a hard voice, "That's your son at the hospital."_

_Shikamaru paled, his gaze dropping to the ground. And then he found it too difficult to stand and he was kneeling, trying to force his breath to a steady rhythm. "Son?" he managed._

"_What the hell did you do?" Shikaku said dangerously, his tone darker than Shikamaru had ever heard it before. _

"_It was… it was just," Shikamaru tried. He didn't even wince as Shikaku hit him again. _

"_It was just?" Shikaku said, "Do you realize what you've done?"_

"_Everyone knows?" Shikamaru whispered, "Ino remembers?"_

_He heard his father's sound of frustration. "No."_

"_No?" Shikamaru repeated in confusion, looking up._

"_I don't know what the hell everyone else thinks, because they all seem to happy for another Uzumaki baby."_

"_How… how do you know it's…" Shikamaru managed._

"_You're asking _me_ how I know," Shikaku said coldly. "That's my grandson, but because of you, your mother and I aren't going to get to be in his life. Unless you want to ruin their marriage. Was that the point? Was she unhappy with him? Because she's certainly acting happy enough."_

"_She…" Shikamaru said shakily, "We were both drunk…she didn't know that it…"_

"_She didn't know it was you," Shikaku finished grimly. _

_There was complete silence. Shikamaru couldn't stop the trembling nor could he look up at his father. _

"_I've never been more disappointed in you," Shikaku said, "I never thought that I could be this disappointed in you. Or disgusted."_

_There was a moment of silence and then Shikaku walked out, slamming the door loudly behind him. _

"Hey Hotaka," Ino said softly to him, "Look who's here."

The little toddler shifted slightly and gave a small yawn before his big blue eyes caught sight of Shikamaru. He laid his head back against Ino's shoulder, but waved his hand at Shikamaru. "Hey Hotaka," Shikamaru said quietly.

Ino lay back down on the couch and laughed slightly as Hotaka immediately moved so that he could lay as well. "You are definitely the sleepiest of the three," she said fondly, giving his cheek a light caress. "The most laidback."

Hotaka didn't respond other than to settle contentedly. Ino shifted slightly. "Shikamaru said hello. What do you say?"

Hotaka yawned again, and in the littlest voice said, "Hi Shika-karu."

"Closer," Ino said, with a smile, "You get closer to the right name all the time."

There was a burning pain in Shikamaru's chest. It hurt so badly and _had_ hurt so badly ever since he'd first seen Ino with the kid almost two years ago. Since he'd first seen her with their son.

Hotaka was slowly waking up more and he sat up. "When's Daddy coming?" he asked.

"Daddy's out of town," Ino said, "He had to go do some business."

Hotaka gave a little sigh. Ino tickled his sides. "I'm here though," she said. Hotaka smiled at her and crawled up to give her a kiss.

"Love you too, you runt," she said with a smile, before sitting up and setting him on his feet. "Now go give Shikamaru a hug."

Hotaka obediently made his way over to Shikamaru who sat up to look at the small toddler. Dark-haired, unlike his parents and siblings. Something, Naruto said, that probably came from one of his grandparents, none of whom he knew. Hotaka climbed up on his lap and then stood to give him a hug and a kiss. "Hi Shika-karu," Hotaka said with his arms wrapped around Shikamaru's neck.

Close enough.

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**A/N.**

**Here is the request in full.**

**Request: ****I saw that you do requests and I love your work! I love ShikaIno and I want a sad one where Ino is married to Naruto and has a baby with Shikamaru! Please and thank you! –Fiddle Me This One.**

**My Beta: The Laughing Fool, was shocked to read a NaruIno from me. It was interesting to write! I left a lot of things unanswered about the relationships and nature of the relationships. I'm writing an epilogue for myself, because of how curious I am. **

**(Updated Note: I've had some requests to continue this story and I _do_ have quite a bit written out, BUT the issue is that this story has absolutely no option of ending happily for all three of my favorite characters and I'm having trouble with that because I don't want to leave any of them in the dust. So, the continuation of this story, can't really be a full-story (no end, no resolution).)  
**

**Anyway. Just letting everyone know, I DO take requests. I have three other challenges that I am working on at the moment (Nukumi, thank you for the difficult ones!), but I'm always willing to work with more.**

**(For the genetics- I gave myself and the characters some leeway with having dark hair. The canon world has pink, blue, non-old-person white hair, etc. They also have what _might_ be genetic facial tattoos (Kiba, Chouji, Jiraiya, etc.)  
**

**Also my brilliant friend The Laughing Fool, did a fanart of the kiddos from this story. After reviewing, you DEFINITELY need to go check it out. Her gallery is also a gorgeous haven for ShikaIno fans. **

**http:/ / little- -frog. deviantart. com /art/Dysphoria-Family-201138264?q=gallery%3ALittle-Frog&qo=14 (without the spaces)  
**

**Thank you for reading, and review please!**


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